Rift Shots

See you in headstart

(Inside joke.)

Adventures in WoW

I've been dabbling with a couple games since I quit Warhammer.

I subbed to WoW for laughs. People sometimes ask why I hate that fucking game. This is all I've taken from my past week of playing:

- I log on to my Level 67 Blood Elf Hunter I haven't played in 14 years, because I wanted a flying snake thing as a pet. A red one.

- Oh look, I have found a Dungeon Group. Our dungeon mission: We have to kill many Bird-Men.

- The tank begins to complain that "dps need to dps". I don't think the other players fully understand what "dps" is even an acronym for. I wonder how they try to process this sage advice.
"Fuck that guy. I'm totally Doing Positive Stuff."

- Recount is repeatedly spammed. The Death Knight says he just has some lag, but is good, he should be able to do 600 dps.

- I'm kind of laugh-crying but feel nothing inside, for I am dead there.

- The tank and healer continually bitch that the other dps aren't doing anything. I think the 2 of them are doing a combined damage total equivalent a level 20 Paladin fart.

- Cruel words are being spoken.
"You've never done 600 dps in your life"

This seems sad to me on several levels. I picture a tombstone:
"John Wowplayer. 1999-2011. Beloved Son & Brother. Never did 600 dps."

R.I.P Dead Server

Let's remember the good times...

Like the times we zerged the shit out of you...

...And then you zerged our balls off...

...And then we zerged you in the ass...

... And you came back and zerged us some more...

... And then The Nothingness came ...

... And now I'm some sort of Smurf Elf or something.