Monday, January 30, 2012

Clearing out the mailbox

Mythos Global "Open Beta" begins Thursday, Feb. 2nd *Edit: I believe this is something like the third time this game has tried to not suck it and fall on its face.

Aeria's Repulse went into open beta. *Edit: Apparently it's live now.

Marvel Super Hero Squad Online is giving out free booster packs of the new Villain's Fury cards - just redeem code 'VILLAINSFURY' and the pack should open when you go to your card deck.

Massively is offering a giveway for Global Agenda - "three days of extra experience, credits, and tokens"

The WOH Report: Getting Perky

Wrath of Heroes has tweaked a few things with their newest patch this past weekend. I'd summarize the actual patch notes but they made them longer than #@&!ing War and Peace. I'll try to give a brief overview:
  • The store is now open to buy heroes and skins. Players must purchase any heroes they wish to permanently unlock, re-skin and spend skill points on. (The gold and mastery points can be earned just by playing the game. Free heroes will be available to play every week, with a rotating roster).
  • All the heroes now have a very basic skill tree branch thing with a couple unlockable tactics, alternate abilities and the new Perk skills available. Each hero has 3 open slots to work with when choosing which of these unlocks to use in combat.
  • The Perks are abilities that become usable after reaching a certain # kills, assists or healing without dying...
I'll try to list the Perks here, hopefully I'm getting this right from my scribbled idiot notes.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

True Romance

I just wanted to confirm the rumors and make it official -

I did in fact get married!


Well, not me me. The Imperial Agent I play. But it's a big deal to me, and it was a really special moment in my life and I expect gifts from all of you.

I know there were many of you who doubted that this relationship would work (she's Rattataki, I'm playing a Chiss; she railed a guy on my ship, I've been having sex with literally every female NPC in the universe). But that's all past us. I'm committed to making this work.

My completely fake, contrived video game marriage is important to me and I thank you all for your support. And your gifts. Send booze and money.


When you find a murderous, nymphomaniac bald alien -- you don't ask questions, you get married.

Busted

Well, this is funny. Do a google image search for 'carrie gouskos'. See the 3rd pic listed? Yeah, the massive bewbs.

You have me to thank for that. You're welcome.

And of course - someone told Carrie.

I'm assuming that's a Mr. Paul Barnett, who [hysterically] was googling pictures of Carrie for some reason. Paul ratted me out and now I'm going to make it so that when you google him you get a picture of the rectum monster.

Paul Barnett


Note: this happens a lot - I get a ton of people searching for Carrie's pictures. I didn't realize it was actually Mythic Entertainment. Motherfuckers should be working on 2 different games, and Paul is busy photoshopping Carrie's head on to weird orc porn or something and Carrie is googling and blogging about her boobs. Disgusting.

This is funny to everyone not playing SWTOR.

 Using Band-Aids to cure AIDs:

*EDIT: now with more typos and crying.


Hello everyone; I wanted to update you on the issues we've been seeing today on the live servers, specifically within the Open World PvP area on Ilum. We're aware that on some servers, either Republic or Empire groups have been capturing the Ilum control points, entering the enemy's base and 'camping' the medcenters, preventing the opposite faction from leaving their base to recapture control points. This is not a fair or balanced gameplay experience and can also severely affect client performance, so we're taking steps to address this.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

SWTOR is (Choose One): 1 Broken 2 Exposed 3 Spacebar

SWTOR PvP completely imploding, apparently everyone in the world saw this coming but BioWare.

I obviously don't take any joy in this, I'm sort of putting my head in the sand to avoid even looking at ...whatever the hell they consider PvP. I've been playing my lower-level Scoundrel on a different server while my Sniper gathers dust.

Perhaps a shitstorm like this was necessary to open their eyes to needed changes. The problem is, the game needs a lot of changes. Big, radical changes. And very soon. Which is totally fucking terrifying because that has never ended well, ever in the entire history of history.

It's like quicksand at this point -- the more they struggle the quicker they'll sink and die.




Tuesday, January 10, 2012

SWTOR pics: more Agent + companions

SCORPIO, Raina, Kaliyo, Lokin, Vector
The loincloth part sticks straight out, like I'm really excited to shoot you
Kaliyo close-up, Customization 3
Ensign Raina Temple close-up, default
SCORPIO

SWTOR: a day in the life

My efforts so far today, as a 50 Sniper.

- I quickly win 2 random Hutballs, nether of which count towards the bullshit 'Daily' and 'Weekly' PvP quest grinders. Again.

- As far as PVE goes, I'm going back and completing old quests that I cannot abandon. I've been trying to make space so I can load up on the myriad different daily/weekly grind-o's, but first I must complete 18 different half-finished quests from across the galaxy.

- I enter a third Huttball, which we start losing badly. An Operative named "Rasuo" or something runs across the map away from me and then whispers "You really don't want to make this personal".

OH SHIT, MMO TOUGH GUY ALERT.

My team combined is doing about a collective 140 dps compared to the Operative and Mercs doing an easy 500+ each. Someone says they are going to kill whomever was in charge of class balance.

Such is the magic of Huttball.

- I abandon my non-working PvP quests and go back to wrapping up the un-abandonable quests clogging up my logs.

- The quests refuse to end, they're all 14 hour quest chains that keep adding more un-abandonable quests to my log.

- I realize something in horror - I was having more fun than this in the first month of Rift and Aion.

- I weep quietly to myself.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

hidden messages in SWTOR

Billboards promoting "QUEER RYE" and "COONANGEL TUKNUT"

V1YN CUNTS
Alien Stripper giving birth to Earth
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?


Friday, January 06, 2012

pics: more Imperial Agent companions, speeder

Level 40 Custom Built Speeder via Cybertech
Ensign Raina Temple
Doctor Lokin w/ the "Asian Guy customization"
Vector and Dr. Lokin
Kaliyo dressing up like Boba Fett for me
Agent, Dr. Lokin
Agent, Ensign Temple
2 kool 4 skool shot




Thursday, January 05, 2012

SWTOR PvP: Polishing the Turd

Gabe's recent community posting.

It's hard to take a game's PvP seriously when it's nothing but 3 shitty instanced maps where you've got level 11's trying to figure out how to learn to play their class against premades of players 20-40 levels higher.

It's just a mess, I don't see how this is fun for anyone and I don't see how minor tweaks are ever going to make it much better.

The class balance is laughable; it's badly, inherently flawed. And there's a massive imbalance between the factions that should probably be a much bigger issue except that there's zero open pvp in this game until you hit late 40s. And even then, it's really bad.

It's all giving me deja vu of the shitty pvp in Rift because they've made so many of the same stupid mistakes.

GW2 and TSW will have to have really, really bad PvP to not be able to draw away whatever PvPers are playing TOR


Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Sniper vs. Scoundrel: Gone in 6 seconds

My sniper is moving towards what looks like an undefended turret. I'm sure it won't be that easy to just capture it, but I have two options here:

A. Set up cover somewhere and randomly spam my ground-targeted AOE to try to reveal any stealthers. This will piss away my energy for no reason and make any enemies watching this laugh at me.

B. Just hope the stealther sucks so badly that he dies to an awful Sniper.


I live in hope. Let's see how long I'm able to stay up after getting jumped trying to cap the turret.


0. I use my CC-breaker to counter his stun, but this is completely optional because it won't have any real effect on the fight and I might as well just not blow the cooldown.

1. Crouch. This is a good way to start any fight, spend a precious moment just to drop to your knees. This may confuse the "Rogue" for a second or two as he wonders if you're going to perform oral favors for him.

2. Entrench. This is going to cost an achingly long GCD and does absolutely nothing for you but gives you an icon that says it increases damage reduction and prevents CC. It doesn't, but there may be a chance the Scoundrel sees this buff and runs away.

3. Cover Pulse. My AOE knockback. This is not going to touch him at all because he probably has some form of Evasion up and oh, I'm dead. Thanks for playing. Fun fight.



Sunday, January 01, 2012

happy new year

I made this post a few weeks ago about how I enjoyed my brief time in SWTOR beta. [I played a whopping 2 days].

"How's that working out for you, Spider?"

Well.
  I enjoyed the game for what it was - a game I can play with friends that I actually find playable and fun.


This was still very true - until I ran into a brick wall of bugs and imbalances that make it a lot less playable. My class quest completely bugged out and took 3 days for me to figure out. I haven't been able to speak in or even see /guild, /party or /operation chat for about a week now. It so badly feels like a Single Player MMORPG right now.

I'm mostly playing a Sniper, who's by far the weakest, least fun class to attempt to play in PvP; which also isn't very good at all. The PvP actually feels quite worse than the PvP in Rift, and I thought that was nearly unbearable.



There's a lot of discovery in this game.

These discoveries were more interesting when they weren't "I can't communicate with anyone, ever", "PvP is nothing but a CC-fest in Huttball between 2 classes" and "Snipers are dogshit".

I'm sure the bugs will be ironed out eventually and PvP will become more varied and fine-tuned, but as it stands now: ewww.


I tried a character that makes decisions that I would make.

Yeah, this lasted about about half a day, when I realized they hadn't added any sort of "Grey" vendor to match the Dark and Light Side vendors that sell relics, gear, pets and mounts. Playing a character 'Neutral Evil' just isn't viable for me when I get punished for doing so.