Monday, May 30, 2011

There's got to be a better way.

The old way of questing:

You talk to some complete stranger with a big ! above his head.

There's a dialogue box you don't read because reading is for readtards.
The bottom of the box says that you need to find ten boar-rat mustaches.
Here's the fun part: maybe they drop a mustache, maybe they don't, it's a surprise!


How new-fangled "dynamic content" games work:

Exactly the same exact way except that a bunch of monsters occasionally spawn in a pre-determined spot.
Here's the crazy, fun, unpredictable part: if you don't kill them, monsters will path to your local village-thing and kill NPCs.
: O

How "dynamic content" should work:

You run around doing whatever the fuck you'd really rather be doing - killing doods, gathering stuff, exploring, whatever.

You see a gopher trying to eat a peanut. He gets zerged by some blackbirds who want his nut.





Now you've got this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure thing going on. What do you do?

A. Help the poor gopher!
B. Laugh and punch the gopher in the face.
C. Nothing. I don't stop what I'm doing for critters.

Your actions directly have an effect on the surrounding world.

A. You shoo away the birds and the gopher nods at you, saying "The Gopher Revolution is coming. You will be spared, friend." He shits out a glowing chest for you and scampers away. It contains 500 platinum coins and a Legendary sword of purest darkness.

B. The birds turn on you and try to peck your face off. You stave them off and, impressed with your prowess, they decide to ally themselves to you. You gain a "Bird Swarm" combat buff for an hour, the birds follow you around and attack anything you attack. They then get bored and spiteful and kill you, rob you of your belongings and promise to hunt down and kill all that you love.

C. The gopher was actually Jesus Christ in disguise, testing you. You fall into a pit of fire and burn for all eternity. You are locked from playing on that server for all time.

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