Tuesday, July 19, 2011

This isn't life, this is something else

Had to go to the DMV. Naturally, there was a screaming baby.

Actually, there were two screaming babies... who at one point were scream-crying together at the top of their lungs, like a little baby Christina Aguilera and a baby Mariah Carey having a scream-off to decide who could make me run out of the building and into traffic first.

Waiting 2 hours at the DMV on a hot summer weekday isn't bad enough, apparently it needed to steal the background soundtrack and ambient noise directly from the ninth pit of Hell. The sound of bored teenage girls and a nightmarish, ear-raping, soul-siphoning chorus of demented baby wailing.

I think, in a perfect utopian future society, that baby strollers should have built-in auto tuners so that when your little demonspawn child starts frantically crying himself into hyperventilation everyone else in the supermarket will just hear what sounds like a soothing R Kelly slow jam.

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