Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The 15 funniest guys to have in any guild

#1. The guy that thinks he's a Sith Dark Lord but is really just a sad, fat dude in Sponge Bob boxers.

#2. The guy that thinks he's Rambo and that video games = war.

#3. Any Role-Player, really.

#4. A flamboyantly gay guy that makes every other guy in the guild uncomfortable.

#5. The suburban gangster.

#6. The genuinely scary psychopath who says shit like "No, I will literally find where that guy lives and pay him a visit."

#7. Senior Lecturer ~ Professor Dr. Elitist, PhD. AKA That Guy That Acts Like He Knows Everything About The Game But Is Usually Completely Wrong and Is Totally Loathed By Everyone In The World, Ever.

#8. "God damn it, who invited their kid into the guild? Why are there toddler noises in Vent?!"

#9. "We invited Doug's parents into the guild. Be nice, his dad spent the last 4 hours trying to figure out how to move his character forward."

#10. The Catastrophic Embarrassment. This is the guy who's so bad at the game it actually becomes hysterical. He knows he's a fuck-up and embraces it.
"Can anyone heal our group?"
"I can!"
"LOL. No, seriously, can anyone heal?"

#11. Captain Awkward. This is the guy who's so bad he might truly suffer from at least some level of mental / social retardation and/or physical handicap, but the guy thinks he's really Superman.

#11. The Fat, Angry Monster. This is the type of too-serious asshole that screams at people in the middle of a fight and generally treats people like shit for no reason.

#12. Dr. Jokeyll & Mr. Holyshit. This is the guy who is usually a happy-go-lucky, often Catastrophic Embarrassment type of nice guy who will surprise everyone by exploding into a pissed-off, rage-drunk Fat, Angry Monster at weird times.

#13. The Scary Robot from Mars. This is the guy who you're almost 100% sure is not human. The one who plays 24 hours a day and if you try communicating with him, it will speak in only the tersest, weirdest responses that no normal person would ever think to say.
"hey J'onn, what's going on with you?"
"Greetings, guild-mate. I am amusing myself with the the delightful antics of these air-breathers as I study their habits"
"uh that sounds cool"

#14. The Black Guy Who Freaks Everyone Out When They Realize He's Black.
"Black guys play video games? Whaaaaat?"

#15. The Merry Prankster. Usually serves as the mascot of the guild. Often found infiltrating other guilds to spy on them and tricking other players into cybering them and then posting the transcripts on official game forums. Love him or hate him, just make sure you're not saying anything you wouldn't want recorded and remixed into a gay porn gif or something.

The 5 Least Funniest Guys To Have In Any Guild

#1. Women

Just kidding. I'm a big fan of vagina.

#1. The Sad Sack. Often found complaining about everything and being otherwise completely unappealing in every way. The Meg of the Guild.

#2. The Total Fuck-Up. This is the guy that constantly is doing something wrong, has something going wrong, and needs help to try to fix other shit that is going wrong. AKA The Raid Wiper and Fuck That Guy.

#3. The Hopeless Tech Dork.
AKA That Guy That Can Only Communicate With Other People By Listing His Computer Specs.

#4. The Troll King. This is the guy that attacks strangers on messageboards and spams /lol and /spit emotes on random lowbies then brags about how he incredible he is.

#5. Guy With Way Too Much Time On His Hands Guy.
This is the creepy, no-life piece of shit that does background searches on people to expose them on bulletin boards ("Hey, TOM GUNDERSON, how's your wife SUSAN and your house on OAK STREET? LOL!!!") and will initiate forum arguments that consist of him endlessly writing humorless, pointless walls of text to further cement his mad delusions that he is not a pathetic, unlikable dreg.

1 comment: