DID YOU KNOW:
The Japanese Prime Minister is twittering. Tweeting. Twatever.
"The Prime Minister's Office of Japan has launched an English twitter account from now on."
Good Lord, the end is here and we're going down using internet shorthand.
"We call 4 further cooperation to save power to avoid total outage."
"Demand 4 electricity has surged today."
"No impact on human body at present even if u staying outside for 24 hrs."
I really had no interest in any of the other disaster-y stuff going on there (10,000+ feared dead? YAWN.) but, for fuck's sake that is just depressing. I would be fine with the end of the world if it played out like the Book of Revelations - the glorious un-doing of all things: archangel trumpet-blasts cracking the sky, oceans turning to blood, fire pouring forth from the mountains...
I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hell was following close behind him.
But that's not how it's going down. The end won't be poetic. It will be "epic". It will be blogged about and turned into a bad meme. The white rider heralding the apocalypse isn't going to be a crowned bowman, it's going to be Kanye West tweeting while on the toilet...
"motherfucking locusts b everywhere."
"3rd of sky darkened yo. shit just got real."