Thursday, February 23, 2012

None of this is Real

The actual real world, and the entire history of that world, is often very shitty, insane and/or fucking boring. This is why I love fiction, why I seek out fantasy worlds and re-imagined histories.

This is why part of me wants to believe that perhaps Abraham Lincoln was actually a Vampire Slayer from The Matrix who does slow motion axe-karate to Johnny Cash techno remixes.


Because America.

Because Thomas Jefferson punching a fucking gorilla and George Washington fighting a tiger. Because JFK hunting aliens, Washington killing zombies and FDR walking all over Giant Robots.

Because fuck history.

Think about it - the Daniel Day-Lewis movie about Lincoln will be amazing, but let's be honest here. That is a batshit-crazy depressing story: the horrors of slavery, war, a squat, homely wife with a serious head injury, getting shot in the fucking skull.

 My life is already black and horrible enough as it is -- and reality is just too real.

I think 'LauraTickled" probably sums up it best.

Wow.  It's just so good to know people out there share my deepest thoughts and appreciation for fine fiction.

Yes. Yes, I will go see a movie about Abraham Lincoln knife-fighting Dracula.

And, yes, I'll watch a movie with UFOS, Space Nazis, President Sarah Palin, and a Dude Who Isn't Will Smith Saying Stupid Shit That Will Smith Would Say If This Was Really Will Smith.

I think ReplyGirl's boobs say it best.

It looks like really, really, realllly cool... Joo York is getting inbaded ... I mean, what can we do? 

I agree with everything your breasts were saying, lady. God bless America.

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