Saturday, June 12, 2010

Interview: Some Person

The Spider Love News Network was kind enough to spend some time with a random Mythic producer, a person by the name of "Carrie Gouskos". The interview was brief, as I do not like other people and their presence tires me. Enjoy.

Spider Love, Lord of All Bloggers: "Who are you?"
Carrie Gouskos: "I'm the executive producer of-"
Spider Love: "YAWN."
Carrie Gouskos: "What are you doing?"
Spider Love: "I'm putting fun pictures here otherwise everyone's just going to fall asleep. Interviews are boring."


Spider Love: "I've been playing the game again and I'm noticing a trend, you guys started selling pink dyes and pushing some sort of "breast cancer awareness" agenda with everyone in the game looking like Strawberry Shortcake. The new mount you added is a pony. A pony with jewelery. The new emotes you added in the last patch were /hugs and /gayhighfive."
Carrie Gouskos: "That last part isn't true. That's a falsehood."
Spider Love: "The question I have to ask is this: Is is true that you are a, I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly, is it true that you are a woman?"
Carrie Gouskos: "It's true."
Spider Love: "A-HA! Is it not also true that you were intentionally put in this postion to destroy Warhammer Online because the game is horrible and needs to be put out of its misery?"
Carrie Gouskos: "No, we're improving the game. You said you liked the changes. And we just did that thing you wanted for Serpent's Passage. The boat thing."
Spider Love: "Fuck your boats. You've mentioned that Open RvR is your top priority and you think the key there is adding more incentives for that. What sort of incentives were you talking about?"
Carrie Gouskos: "Pony of the Month Club."
Spider Love: "No, seriously."
Carrie Gouskos: "What would you suggest?"
Spider Love: "Cloaks that don't look like dirty shower curtains. Enchanted Glow-In-The-Dark Dyes."


Carrie Gouskos: "We can look into a glowing pink dye, maybe."
Spider Love: "Also, it would be nice if taking keeps and battlefield objectives was actually fun in tier four. I don't know. Crazy idea."
Carrie Gouskos: "Your suggestions were 'Monster Trucks as Siege Weapons' and 'Giant Dragon That Eats Zergs'."
Spider Love: "Yeah. It'd be like this big dragon that goes "rahhr" and eats a bunch of zerglings and then flies to The Blighted Isle to poop them out. The pooping part could be an animation or a cinematic movie thing, your call."
Carrie Gouskos: "Do you have a disease where you're actually a 5 year old in a man's body?"
Spider Love: "So you noticed my Man's Body, I see. I know it's hard not to, but that's sexist. I'm a serious journalist, not a piece of meat. Alright? I'm a human being, I have feelings, too. God damn it. This interview is over."

(*This is not actually a real interview with Carrie Gouskos. I am a liar and an asshole, please don't believe anything I say, ever.)

1 comment:

  1. I realize I'm well over a year late (to which there is probably some brilliantly pithy reply) but this is the best interview I've ever given*.

    *Except that it wasn't given by me. But the rest of what I said is true.