Arguing about Ewoks

And so it continues.

Ewoks don't need shitty laser-sword technology! Ewoks know that it's more bad-ass to fuck your shit up with logs and stones.


Or did you forget how they work?

"Hi, I'm a Stormtrooper and I have lasers and giant walking machines!"
"Hi, I'm an Ewok and I wipe my ass with rocks. I just killed your whole platoon with a twig, some hemp rope and a boulder covered with Ewok crap. Come at me, bro."

This Ewok literally broke his entire leg off onto a Stormtrooper's rectum by jumpkicking him in the asshole into a tree. Twelve times.

He is a furry little ball of death and he will shove your stupid lasers up your urethra.













This whole discussion reminds me of the old Gnome debate you'd see in WoW.

See, a lot of people don't like the other Fantasy "races". They are racists. They hate Elves and Dwarves and Goat People and they especially hate Gnomes.

Elves, you can forgive them for being feminine... it's like they're the British. They talk funny and look like pale women, but they're old allies, they're sort of heroic in their own nancypants way.

Dwarves are ridiculously short and fat and therefore much less heroic and less cool, but they make up for up that by being all drunk and belligerent and hairy, like lovable Irish midgets.

But Gnomes, people hate Gnomes. They are cartoony. Cutesy. There are walking lawn ornaments. They are small and weak and have neon green Fu Manchu mustaches and day-glo pink combovers and nothing about any of that is heroic or cool in any way. They are 2 foot tall, gay, middle-aged French ravers. It's like they were intentionally designed to be loathsome.

And yet, WoW goes on.

Worst race ever, Most popular game ever.

You know why? Because it's just a fucking Gnome. You either kill it, and enjoy the killing more for the fact, or, you don't and you get on with your life. So it goes.

[For the record, I hated Gnomes, but I also did eventually roll a Gnome Rogue and a Warlock because I think a little baby-looking Death Mage is funny as hell. It was nice to have something that appealed to humor and quirkiness and not just grunting epeen.

Did WoW way over-do the cutesey-ness? Yeah. But it's WoW.]

We won't ever see playable Ewoks in SWTOR, hell I don't think we'll see any really visually interesting playable races in SWTOR.

Hard to just flatly say whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.


People keep asking for new / different / crazy / funny, and yet ... all they really want is old / same / boring / humorless Human Warrior, Face 3, Hair 2.

Maybe it's not that a Teddy Bear Race is uncool and or less heroic-y, it's that we're all just too fucking narrow and simple to imagine for a second that a little Half-Bear, Half-Apache, Half-Mini Me Killing Machine could be more interesting on some level than a sea of goateed Jason Stathams.

*Edit: This just in,
ArenaNet still does not give a shit if you like all of their races or not.